A thought: Protect Yourself from Rape

“Rape campaigner live-blogged her own ‘sexual assault’ – just minutes after alleged attack took place – to set an example for other survivors who ‘need to speak up’


Amber Amour is a  black American woman  who went to South Africa to  promote her anti-rape campaign. One would think she is armed with basic cultural knowledge. Amour decided to shower with her male neighbor. Apparently the man asked and she said yes!
“I said yes because the water at my current hostel is pretty cold and after two days of being sick, I just really wanted a hot shower…As soon as I got in the bathroom, he forced me to my knees. I said “stop!” but he just got more violent.”

My questions are , why would you get in a shower with a man:

  1. You had uncomfortable interaction with prior?
  2. That is not your husband?
  3. That is not your boyfriend”
    It seem as though Amour decided to play a role in a rape situation so that she could get media attention.However, I agree with her that being naked in public is not an invitation for sexual violence. As a village woman, nudity is not a big deal to me. I grew up seeing naked bodies.I take off my clothes in front of my siblings. And have walked topless in our family compound, all in context. A woman in my village would never shower with a man she is not intimate with, unless she is planning to entice him.As adults  it is important that we make wise decisions to keep ourselves safe, in the same way we don’t walk in front of a moving vehicle. Amour  didn’t do that and she got raped. Ladies and gentlemen, be safe as you promote your missions in life!

Read more of Amour’s story here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3387273/Activist-27-live-blogged-RAPE-social-media-just-minutes-alleged-violent-sexual-assault-took-place-set-example-survivors-need-speak-up.html#ixzz3wsOSjYav

7 thoughts on “A thought: Protect Yourself from Rape

  1. YESSS! My patience has been rewarded indeed. I read her story,it is unfortunate that she was raped. You would not wish that on anyone. But you are right it is very important to keep yourself safe. And trusting that people have the same morals/perspective as you is not always a good thing. Definitely ladies be safe indeed.

  2. This 27 year old woman made me mad, because I know rape, and it is life altering!!

    Regarding “morals/perspective’, exactly we cannot think because we do things in our home country, those”things” apply when we travel overseas. This american exceptionalist attitude needs to stop.

    And besides, I would actually not encourage young girls to behave this way in the United States of America.Yes! We ought to protect our bodies, just as we expect members of the community to play their roles.

    • My heart goes out to you sister that you had that experience. I agree with you. Also something to factor in is how much media coverage she is reciving while there are other stories out here affecting the lives of black people like the genocide that is going on globally when it comes to black lives. Or even other people.

      One thing i always do is be critical. White supremacy and its control of what gets attention is real.
      I am of the opinion that we as women( especially black women) because really nobody cares about what happens to black women. The system does its best to potray a certain image of black women. That of the jezebel/mami/stupid/golddiggers etc.

      We have to take this into account when disscusing sexuality and to be mindful that we live in a very highly sexual environment. This is done by music/pictures/movies etc. So taking this carefree sexual attitude(that is projected in the media) is not smart. It is important to have a real dialoque about this issues that effect our communitys taking all the factors that play a role in creating or encouraging a troublesome society.

  3. My heart goes out to you sister Dabale that you had to experience that. I agree with you and understand your viewpoint. Another thing we have to factor in is how much media coverage she is getting while they are stories out here that are impacting the lives of black people as we speak(like the genocide that is taking place globally of black people) or the least the refugees stories that is trending at the moment. All this makes is possible under a system of white supremacy, what gets attention and what does not.

    As black women we must have an open and serious dialoque on sexuality. Taking into account all the factors and understanding the harsh reality we live in at the present moment. We really dont have any friends. And to tackle this issues that plaque our communitys we need to understand that we are alone in this when it comes to finding a solution.

    We live in a very highy sexual society.
    And this is encouraged by the media, to the point where a genderless society is going to become a norm. Taking the carefree sexual attitude that the media is trying to project is not smart. We are living in very dangerous times done so by purpose. As black women we need to take every factor in account before joining any movement that talks about the problems of sexuality but refuses to see that there are other factors in play too.

    • Thanks sis, my situation happened over twenty years ago. Now that I am okay, I plan to write about that part of my journey in the near future.

      Regarding living in “highly sexual society” and being responsible as black women, I think it can be bothersome ( I get it) but as we both agree we cannot afford to be too free with folks.

      But then again, I think part of this woman’s narrative is the fact that she is American and she thinks her way is the best way. (hey, some Africans in America have internalized dominate American perspectives on life). The exceptionist views that I alluded to.

      Thanks for sharing your views. I was talking to someone about this and the person cautioned me that my perspective might be seen, anti-feminist. True, but just because a person is feminist doesn’t mean they should put themselves in danger. We ought to speak truth even though sometimes it is hard to swallow.

      love and respect.

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